Week 37 | 2019

Things are definitely better for me, health-wise. Not perfect, and I am finding that I am impatient with the process and wanting everything to be totally back to normal NOW. I feel like I understand what has happened after meeting with a neurologist and doing more testing. I got very sick at the end of my Guatemala trip, my immune system totally overreacted, I ended up with something like mild Guillain-Barre syndrome, there were some significant neurological things, and things will continue to get better over the next 3-6 months. I can wear athletic shoes again without my feet going numb. I can sort of exercise, although I am very heat intolerant and I haven’t tried to add weights or anything. I have some difficulties with concentration, and have probably started six different books in the last week. And while I am sharing this here, I have told almost no one in real life about any of it. I feel like I always have some weird medical thing, and feel ashamed that here I am, yet again. TOTALLY IRRATIONAL. Obviously this is not my “fault”, so this line of thinking is admittedly bizarre.

The photos this week- so funny. So many of them taken just outside my house when there was almost no light left. I will be participating in a project called Picture Nature in October. I have a new photography crush that is making me feel drawn to focusing on documentary photography again. I am thinking more and more about the intersection of photography and spirituality and healing. In general, I want to prioritize photography more, and honestly put more effort into it, instead of letting is exist as a haphazard afterthought.

Week 35 | 2019

My physical issues are not better, which is making my anxiety kind of HIGH. I realized in this last week that photography is something that takes me out of my currently sucky physical experience. While I am taking photos, or even editing photos, I can remove the focus from the symptoms I am having. I don’t know why I don’t focus more on photography right now- I probably should try that.

We made it to the state fair, and I should post all of the resulting photos. Lida started her cello, with great enthusiasm. I think she made a good decision to choose it as her instrument. It is looking like fall is arriving- a few leaves are changing color, and on our walks with the dogs a few streets over, leaves are flying and people are already raking. I am making an effort to try not to get so melancholy about the fall thing, which is what I usually do.

Hoping I have better news to report next week.